Overheard in a Breakroom Last Week

“I cannot believe that 60% of Americans approve of the Arizona immigration law! It’s unconstitutional.”

“Yeah, well I think it’s about time: the feds aren't doing anything about it.”
“Do you want to pay $1 for an apple?”

“And what about those greedy oil company bastards who sacrificed lives and the environment for a buck?”

Flash back to September 11, 2001 and a break room in an unnamed Home Depot:
“We should send all the Arabs back to where they came from.”

“I hope they round up every ^*#! ‘raghead’ and deport them.”

I was the HR manager in that Home Depot store. Diversity in our store meant that we had one East Indian employee and a few Hispanics: the rest reflected the very Caucasian ethnic makeup of the Conejo Valley. So as employees sat transfixed in the breakroom watching the horrifying TV images that day, all sorts of ethnic slurs could be heard and I didn’t hear one complaint about the coming ethnic profiling. By that afternoon I had planted myself in the break room and as new employees came in I gave them this little talk: “We don't know who did it, keep your prejudices to yourself, let’s just send our positive energy to the rescue workers and survivors.” That tiny redirection of focus made the breakroom and store merely sad, not bigoted, for the rest of the week.

But employers can’t plant themselves in their break rooms all day. Besides, you may agree with what is being said. But guess what, it is not a business issue so it doesn't not belong at work. Nor does a replay of someone’s date the night before, or the latest Sex & the City movie. Race, religion, politics, heck even the weather can be controversial: “We need the rain!” “No, it’s hurting the grapes!”

With elections approaching I am certain other break rooms have had other fiery discussions: this issue comes up at least every four years.

To stop a conversation that is disrespectful or inappropriate in the workplace, one need only say so to the parties doing the talking. Period. Stop it.

But anyone who has raised a child knows that may not be enough. The whole culture of the household needs to support respectful talk about suitable subjects or the lesson will soon be forgotten. Managers need to be told they have the responsibility to enforce the respect rule – whether they want to join in or not. Consistently: they don't get to pick and chose which disrespectful /inappropriate talk they allow to continue and which to shut down.

A good way to defuse an emotional discussion is to step back and turn the conversation on its head: ask yourself or those having the conversation: would I feel the same way if the tables were reversed? How would you feel if California law allowed the questioning of random people to discern if they had broken some other law? If law enforcement could make employers prove they hired only people with the right to work in the United States? Oh wait – that law already exists.

Well, anyway, respect should rule, regardless of the topic.