How Do you Cheat in an Interview?

If you are unemployed and need to brush up on your interview skills, there are zillions of resources on the web, at the SLO Women’s Business Center at Mission Community Services, and from the EDD. There is also a pretty cool book entitled: Surviving a Layoff, by Harry Dahlstrom that can be helpful. A local company provided copies of this book to each of the employees they had to lay off earlier this year.
I think that was a great move: one that may not have been appreciated at the time the pink slip arrived, but can be very useful once the shock wears off. It has chapters on how to tell your family you’ve been laid off, which bills you can set aside when money is tight, and the usual resume template and “how to win that interview” advice. I love the names used on the resume templates: Bea Hopeful and Will M. Press. Subliminal positive messages, I guess.
Another chapter includes fifty questions to expect during a job interview . . . and tips for answers. The EDD offers a similar sheet of questions; turn it over for suggested answers. Is this cheating or valid research for the task ahead? As an HR professional, I think of it as a warning to anyone conducting an interview: don’t expect creative answers to these questions, folks. Better try some others.
The book suggests you be prepared to answer: “How long do you plan to work here”? And they suggest this answer: “A long time. This is the job I’ve been hoping for”. Point #1: Any applicant worth hiring has already determined if the employer is looking for a summer employee or a long-timer. So this point is moot. Point #2: What else would you say to that question? “As long as you’ll have me”. “Until my parole officer retires”. Point #3: Does the interviewer think this is the only position you’ve applied for? I’m guessing you gave that same answer to the guy you interviewed with yesterday.
Another question you could anticipate in an interview: “How did you feel about being laid off”? My answer: “Lousy; like I was kicked in the stomach.” Suggested response: Don’t bad-mouth your old employers. Admit that you miss the job and the people. Say that you are grateful for the opportunities and the skills you learned there. My response to that response: “Are you a pod left behind by a body-snatcher?”
In order to avoid this whole dance, I have developed a series of interview questions over the last 30 years. Some are designed to stump the applicant, others to challenge him or her, some to reveal past performance, and still others to move them from “interview” mode into “interesting conversation”. Not that I would ever publish my list and desired responses. . . . well, maybe. Check in here again in a few weeks.

Betsey Nash, SPHR, has interviewed hundreds of applicants for jobs ranging from lot attendant to CEO. She is the current President of the Human Resources Association of the Central Coast and can be reached at betsey.nash@unitedwestaff.com.